Susan Eichhorn Young

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A Letter to White Women Who Keep Asking...

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When I got up this morning, my first thought was “what is worth blogging about today?” “What would even make sense in this time?”

Nothing made sense. Being quiet didn’t make sense either. What could I possibly say?

And then I received this magnificent letter from Geri Brown. Geri is one of the most transcendent young woman I have ever had the privilege and honor to know, to love and to teach. She is an old soul. She is a deep soul. She is a life changer. She is world changer. She is a woman of integrity, a woman of principle, a woman of talent. She is a storyteller, an artist from spirit and soul. She is what I believe to be my other Universe Daughter. When Thomas and I were in that near fatal car accident in 2011, Geri was there to help Erin, to facilitate, to organize, to create, to be. She was there on every level for us.

Geri Brown is a woman of color. She speaks from a deep ancestral knowledge and knowing.

She shared with me a letter today that she has breathed life into. She has given me permission to share this, in its entirety, on this blog. THIS is what we need right now.

It is a letter to white women, but white men need to read it too.

Please take time to read, to listen, to learn, to understand. Read it again and again. Share it. And act.

Thank you Geri, for your LIGHT in this dark world. Your life and your light matters: to me. to the Universe. to the world.

Take your time, dear reader, and absorb this fully, again and again.

***REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION***from Geri Brown

A Letter To White Women Who Keep Asking What They Can Do To Combat Racism From A Black Woman 

Whenever I watch ROOTS I’m angry for a week.

Angry at slave owners, descendants of slave owners, descendants of people around during slavery…just angry at anyone that wasn’t a slave or the descendants of slaves. My brain cannot comprehend how humans could treat other humans this way. How humans could look into the eyes of another human being, with my complexion, and say,

 “I  bought you, I OWN you, you are now my property.” 

Some will say “Well that was such a long, long, long, long, long, times infinity time ago. Look!!!!! Now, you are free! Be upset at the times of ROOTS, but now…(tsk)…now you can do anything, BE ANYONE. We even had a black president and I voted for him twice. There’s no racism, you are no longer enchained.  You lived a good middle class life, went to a good college, graduated, and have a job. You’re living the American Dream! No need to bring up the “S” word (slavery). The past is the past, let’s move on and stop regurgitating these painful memories.” 

If only I could. But every time I turn on the news or am browsing social media, I am continuously flooded with the intended murders or actualized murders of black and brown people. 

Am I free? 

Are we free? 

What is freedom? 

My answers are no, no, and I’ll let you know when I’ve had it. 

With this flooding of news, I know you are thinking of another word, the “R” word. Racism. There are two kinds of racist folks that I’ve discovered in my experience. As a reminder, this is coming from one black woman, me, and does not reflect the experiences of all black women or all black people.  For the purposes of this letter, to you, these two types of racists humans are: outwardly “black people are inferior” racists and inwardly “indifferent” racists. 

Outwardly “black people are inferior” racists don’t conceptually scare me. Okay, let me preface this by saying that if an outwardly “black people are inferior” racist person had me alone, or in a position of vulnerability - yes they would scare the bleep out of me. I would run and hide to get the bleep away from them as quick as I bleeping could because I WANT TO LIVE.  

However, when I am not confronted with them in person, these people don’t scare me. Their position is clear. They hate me because I was born in this skin. They think I am unworthy of a quality life because I was born in this skin. They think I should just go back to Africa because I was born in this skin. This type of racist will kill me or attempt to kill me if I make them feel too uncomfortable. The abolishment of slavery and Jim Crow laws, along with the passing of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 really bleeped these people up and they are still visibly mad about it.

I don’t believe outwardly “black people are inferior” racists have the ability to change without their own personal intervention. They must have their lives personally affected, negatively, by racism and then seek inner self discovery to change. They will not change by me responding to their hateful comments on Twitter, Instagram, or the book of Faces. So I leave them be. I don’t try to teach them, or tell them they are wrong. It is their problem to solve and I’m not counting on them solving it. 

It’s the inwardly “indifferent” racists that scare the living bleep out of me.  The ones who tout, online that they support black and brown people but in reality only practice indifference towards them. These inwardly “indifferent” racists don’t take the opportunity to connect or support black and brown people in their own circles. To prove to themselves they are in no way racist, they form passive relationships with black and brown people, and fetishize black athletes or movie stars who they totally would be with if they weren’t committed to their husbands or wives or people. In their predominantly white communities, they are unemphatic to the institutional educational trauma of the black and brown children they are teaching in their classrooms. They involuntarily clutch their purse when a black or brown human passes them on a busy street, thinking to themselves that wasn’t racist, I’m just proactively protecting my property. The inwardly “indifferent” racists, support from the interwebs, when it is the appropriate and “in” thing to do.  They spew and repost images and videos of the countless black and brown cis, trans, and non-binary bodies that are murdered or almost murdered in frequency.

In my eyes, and maybe this is overly optimistic, but I’d like to believe that there are more people that are inwardly “indifferent” racists, than those who are outwardly “black people are inferior” racists.  Inwardly “indifferent” racists have the power to step up and stand in for black and brown people, but choose not to, everyday. They practice indifference in their homes, in their communities, and in their justice systems. This group posts photos and videos of our bruised, beaten, and dead bodies in “protest” and then calls or threatens to call the police on us when we are in places they think “we don’t belong.” 

Martin Luther King Jr, calls the inwardly “indifferent” racists, the white moderate. He talks about this in his Letter from Birmingham Jail in 1963, 

“ First, I must confess that over the last few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in the stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Council-er or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I can't agree with your methods of direct action;" who paternalistically feels he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by the myth of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait until a "more convenient season."

For me, this white moderate or inwardly “indifferent” racism, is the type of racism I mostly experienced throughout my life. This kind of racism, especially from white people, who I admired, in positions of power, was a form of neglect. 

The inwardly “indifferent” racist, was the treasured debate coach who didn’t claim me as a child and doesn’t acknowledge me as an adult. After listening to a beautiful NPR, Radiolab podcast episode titled Debatable, I noticed my middle school and high school debate coach posted about it on social media. This episode explored the complexities of being an African American who practiced debate. The treasured debate coach tags every student, who he has worked with, to which this podcast may apply (mostly former students of Asian and Southeast Asian descent). He doesn’t tag me. I am friends with him on this platform. When I see his post, I personally message him, and ask him why he didn’t tag me. He thanks me for not calling him out, visibly, on social media and states that since I was part of the speech portion of debate, that he didn’t think to tag me. He doesn’t want to admit that, even though I was one of the only actual African Americans on his team, in his many years of coaching, in a predominantly white community, that this action was a reflection of his indifference towards me. I didn’t matter then, and I don’t matter now. As long as I didn’t blast him on social media, nobody needs to witness his inwardly “indifferent” racist behavior. 

Then, it’s the voice teacher who I studied with religiously throughout middle and high school. I love musical theatre. I, in fact woke up thinking that the other day. That’s how much I love musical theatre. I sought out, who I thought, was the best voice teacher in my area. He taught me that black singing and blackness was specific for this art form that I loved so much… MUSICAL THEATRE. No, I couldn’t be Julie Jordan, Glinda, or Lizzie Fields like one of my childhood idols Liz Callaway. I could only be Asaka, in the ensemble of Dreamgirls, or Sarah’s Friend because of the “type” of black woman I am. I love these black musicals and roles. Black artistry, however, is not limited to what is considered acceptable black theatre. Our ability to create art is limitless and expansive not restricted and constrained. This inwardly “indifferent” racist voice teacher, convinced my parents to let me go to Philadelphia one summer, solo, for his summer acting camp. I am from the suburbs, of the suburbs, of Philadelphia and was very scared but hoisted up the courage because he ensured he would help me learn and grow as his pupil. I did learn and grow, but it was a reinforcement of what I had already learned in my life. He ignored me the entire time and acted like we just met, even though we had been privately studying for the previous 3 years. Again, being the only black person in the class he showed me, that I didn’t matter. He practiced award winning indifference towards me. In fact, this was the beginning of a long line of artistic educators who could win Emmys, Oscars, Grammys, and the coveted Tonys due to their indifference towards me. They EGOT-ed in all the indifference categories and when they weren’t being indifferent they were telling me the type of black artist I had to be. Teaching me how to be their stereotype instead of my original archetype. 

Then it’s those times when I was finally, hungrily, acknowledged as a kid and young adult by inwardly “indifferent” racists. I was unrelentingly told “you speak well”, or "you’re so well behaved”, or “you have good manners” with the underlying tone of, “for a black person”. These inwardly “indifferent” racist educators and adults never reciprocated compliments to me similar to the compliments they gave to my white peers. I never heard  “you're smart,” or “ you’re a good writer,” and when many of my white friends were considered for gifted classes I was left out, forgotten, and ignored. AnytimeI was noticed as being good “for a black person” I drank those compliments up like they were a mint chocolate chip milkshake, with gummy bears. Boy do I love, to this day, mint chocolate chip milkshakes, with gummy bears. It works, okay. I was beyond proud to not be like those other black children. If there was a Girl Scout badge for Being A Self Hating Black Person my Cadets vest would have been covered. I finally won. I was one of the good ones, because these white adults, in power, told me so. I will assimilate and self stereotype in a way that keeps them liking me. I will play the part they are telling me to play in order to be acknowledged. All while developing crippling addictions to perfectionism, shame, compassion, and self hate. 

Look, I’m not telling you all of this to feel sorry for me. Even as a black woman I am privileged. I didn’t grow up without a roof over my head, I have really bleeping fantastic supportive, beautiful black parents, I had access to education, and I wasn’t thrown out of my house because I am transgender. I am not transsgender. However, on the topic of transgender men and women, specifically transgender men and women of color - we all need to do better. Every single person, in every community, needs to support transgender men and women, in whatever way we can.  They are the most vulnerable. Each of these recent murders, featured in the news, are inconceivable but they have received much more attention than the murders of transgender men and women of color. No activists, that I have seen, who has a large presence in the “cis world” are advocating for Tony McDade. Tony McDade is the black trans man who was killed in Florida on May 27th 2020. I am not the appropriate person to advocate on this topic, as this is not my life’s experience [see privilege above] so I will leave links at the bottom of this letter of activists and advocates from the transgender community. In regards to my black cis woman experience to combat inwardly “indifferent” racist behavior and my own privilege, I’ve put in the work and will continue to put in the work to be a better person. I read books and learned from people with similar and different experiences than me. I listened, and read, and listened some more to educate myself. Most extensively I grew through empathizing with those less privileged than me, especially the life and story of Marsha P. Johnson. Marsha P. Johnson’s activism and direct action have changed my life and made me a better human. The survival of Marsha’s story is due to the archival work of few, most recently predominately from activist, filmmaker, writer, and speaker Tourmaline. Tourmaline is on the frontlines of this work. I reached out to Tourmaline once and couldn’t follow through due to my own shame. Since then, I have been admiring Tourmaline from afar and you should too...but not from afar visit Tourmaline’s website: (https://www.tourmalineproductions.com/ and I have included Tourmaline in the list of activists and advocates below. I then accessed my shame, that same shame that I learned through the award winning practice of  inwardly “indifferent” racism and showed up for myself through extensive mental health support and thorough work. I got myself a good bleeping therapist. With her help I developed compassion for myself, and try to practice kindness and compassion towards others, regardless of their given circumstances. Every mistake I make, or lesson I learn is an opportunity to grow into a better human being. Which is why I am sharing all of this with you. 

All that I have said, until this very moment, was to provide you context to the question I have seen habitually repeated, by white women throughout social media. Through my research, also known as stalking the comments section of Instagram posts, I’ve come to the conclusion that this is the question you are asking,

“What can I do, as a white woman, to actively fight racism (specifically inwardly “indifferent” racist behavior)?” 

As I’m sure you are aware by now, it is not the duty of black people to teach you how to do this. I, however, have learned through my work, that one of the reasons I am on this planet is to educate. I’ve utilized my affinity for the arts to develop an entire organization, for kids, that is threaded in diversity, self acceptance, and compassion as the catalyst for change. In my time creating and developing this benefit corporation, I’ve learned some things I’d like to pass along to you on your journey.  Please note, this is not an exclusive list and is simply a beginning to your journey.

 Let’s call it the Journey on Genuineness Or JOG. 

You know, that thing Ahmaud Arbery was trying to accomplish when he was murdered. 

To begin: 

Look into your homes. 

Look towards your neighbors. 

Look towards your communities. 

Teach compassion. 

Practice compassion. Combat indifference. 

Sounds pretty “je je woo woo” as I like to call it. Let me break it down further. 

For those in a position to educate. Teachers, parents, those with children in their lives. Don’t behave indifferently towards black and brown children. Be the difference in their lives in a sea of educators and adults in their communities, who act like they don’t exist. In my years of schooling and as I continue to learn these educators are the April Bonners, the Sean Murphys, the Lisa Eskins, the Ginny Tinners, the Justin Pauls, the Susan Eichhorn Youngs, the D. Michael Heaths, the Crystal Barrons, and the dear, dear, dear Patricia Woodward’s (Rest In Power Pat). Be like these wonderful humans who profoundly impacted my life for the better. If you have children in your life, pass this on to them. Instead of teaching them to not see race, teach them to have compassion for others that are different than them. Travel with them to diverse communities, teach them kindness by practicing kindness. Don’t pass inwardly “indifferent” racist behaviors to the children in your lives, pass JOG instead.  Make a difference, don’t spread indifference. 

Surround yourself with diversity. Research social media activists, advocates, and  artists from diverse backgrounds. Flood your feeds with black and brown people. Follow activists. Research activist. Make sure they are actually being active, and that black and brown women support these activists. Don’t just support the loudest voice but the truest voice. Donate your time and finances to organizations, especially organizations in your community, that are making a difference to the lives of black and brown people. 

Take action. Put your money in the hands of companies run by people of color. Support products and services you love that have black and brown people in leadership. Use that curated or massive social media following to post positively about these products or services. Remember, this is a product or service you love, so spread that love. Share with friends. Due to the lack of generational wealth and access to capital, which are both direct results of racism, many black and brown owned businesses rely on capital from goods and services to flourish. This is one of the most directly beneficial ways to practice JOG. Be that capital and put your money where your social media post is. On a side note, personally, my benefit corporation consists of the most diverse group of families I’ve seen in my field. We, along with our diverse teaching staff, created a safe environment for kids to develop compassion for themselves and compassion for the fellow participants. If you run an organization, seek out diverse staff and diverse clients. I’ve seen the power that active diversity creates in breaking stereotypes and forming friendships in the eyes of children. Additionally, minus the never-ending support of the black and brown women who are clients...I personally, have had a plethora of white women business owners and directors, continually show up for me and support my business. They are the first people I call to try out new ideas and they are always emotionally available for me as I navigate through business ownership as a black woman. Their fellowship and support is invaluable. Be this type of ally. 

Listen. Listen. Listen. Listen to black and brown people about our experiences. 

Read, or while you are JOG-ing listen via audiobook to authors of color like Brittany Cooper, C. Riley Snorton, James Baldwin, Lorraine Hansberry,  Fredrick Douglass, Stephanie E. Jones-Rogers, Janet Mock, Isabel Wilkerson, Zora Neale Hurston, Nikki Giovanni, Audre Lorde, Jennifer Daelyn, Maya Angelou, Michelle Obama, Ta-Nehisi Coates, August Wilson, Toni Morrison, …. so many others. Just google “Books Written By Female Black Authors,” or “Books About The Black Experience.” Please don’t ask your black friends to give you suggestions. Ask your white friends. Brené Brown, Robin J. DiAngelo, Glennon Doyle, Kristen Bell, Brie Larson are some of the ladies you want to check in with as they actively fight racism, internally, as white women and share their work and knowing with the world. (But still, be sure to read black authors.) 

Learn. History teaches us about who we are and who we could be. Study Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, John Lewis, Mildred Bond Roxborough, Ella Baker, Tina Turner, Fannie Lou Hamer, Dorothy Height, Nina Simone, Miss Major Griffin-Gracy, Diane Nash, Stormé DeLarverie, Bayard Rustin, Septima Poinsette Clark, CeCe McDonald, Diana Ross, Odetta, Paul Robeson, Laverne Cox, Malcolm X,  Smokey Robinson, Ella Fitzgerald, Mahalia Jackson, Nat King Cole, Eartha Kitt, Medgar Evers, Thurgood Marshall, Anita Hill, Angela Davis, Coretta Scott King, Dr. King, Shiley Sherrod, Georgia Gilmore, Ruby Dee, Josephine Baker, Gwendolyn Zoharah Simmons, Ruby Bridges, Wilma Rudolph, Tidye Pickett,  Rihanna, Serena Williams, Venus Williams, Beyoncé, Althea Gibson, Gabrielle Union,  Claudette Colvin, so much Jo Ann Robinson, and all the Ruby Nell Sales you can get your hands on…. This is just a sampling. Also for the people you “know” check in to see if you really know their stories. Many of the people you think you “know” fought and are actively combating racism with their platforms.  Again Google is your friend. 

Squash any outwardly “black people are inferior” racism that your children, friends, and family members promote. No, I will not be fighting those people. In fact, no black or brown people should be expected to combat this type of racism. Isn’t 400+ years of outwardly “black people are inferior” racism enough?  I know I’m bleeping tired. This is where you come in. As soon as you see outwardly “black people are inferior” racism you pop in there so fast, like that first drop at Tower of Terror in Disney World. Don’t @ me. I know the many racist historical things about Disney, and I am against it all. Almost every global company has its origins in racism or has a history of racist practices. I’m not excusing it, I’m just bleeping enjoying myself on a roller coaster. Black people deserve to enjoy ourselves. When combating outwardly “black people are inferior” racism, choose to fight the hate spread by people who look like you. Don’t be complacent or compliant. Get them on social media, get them when you’re passing out oranges at soccer games, and let them know you do not provide safe harbor to racists. Don’t be passive aggressive about it either. Direct action is required, from a place of love. You love these people.  You won’t be able to save them when they exhibit racism, are filmed, and are fired from their jobs while headlining in the news. This fear is not the reason why these people, in your life, shouldn’t be racists. Remind yourself that lives depend on it. Yes, by fighting for our lives, you may lose friendships and family ties. Don’t forget what is at stake if you choose to abstain. 

Connect and develop friendships with black and brown women and talk to them. Like have real, heartfelt, meaningful conversations. Yes, we know your neighbor is black, you have a black colleague, and there’s a black mom in your carpool circuit. If you’re not developing meaningful friendships with them, where you can openly discuss race, these relationships don’t count.  You know the difference between friends you “talk with” and friends you TAAAAALLLWK WITH. It’s all about a mutual understanding and sharing of experiences. Learn from those who are unlike you. Diversified relationships are the key to compassion and will help you immensely on your JOG. 

STOP USING THE WORD “WOKE”. Yes the caps were necessary. That word is now banned. Take the word “woke” out of your vocabulary. It’s like Fight Club. You don’t need to talk about how “woke” you are. We don’t believe you. Every time I hear a person say they are “woke,” I’m like we both know you are not.  It makes you seem like you are walking around trying to save black and brown people. We don’t need to be saved, we need to be supported. Showing your peers  how “woke” you are by donating to children in Africa and posting the link on your Fbook page doesn’t stop racism. It just makes you feel like you are “woke” and I already said that this word is no longer in your vocab. Also, I don’t want to say stop donating to children in Africa…but there are black and brown children, humans, suffering in your local communities.  It is easier to identify with injustices millions of miles away. It is more difficult to admit that similar injustices (homelessness, illiteracy, malnutrition) are happening right in our own communities. Help as many people as you can, all throughout the world - but especially be of service to those suffering in your community. 

Don’t try to become a voice in this movement. Lend your voice to black and brown women doing the work and support them. Women’s movements, specifically, have historically been non-inclusive to black and brown women. If you’re going to create a movement, ask those that are less privileged than you to be leaders in the movement and work collectively.  Use your privilege to promote progress for all. The ERA still hasn’t been passed and it was first introduced to congress in the 1920’s. We are stronger when we stand together. The least oppressed of the oppressed always become the voice of a movement. STOP LETTING THAT HAPPEN IN YOUR ORGANIZATIONS. Let me reiterate transgender women of color are part of this movement. They are not trying to take anything away from us. They deserve a seat at the table. Stop excluding them. 

Work on yourself. Find a good therapist that you can talk with about all of these new feelings and ideas. A therapist that will call you out on your bleep and help you, hold yourself accountable, on your JOG. If you are a therapist, be a therapist, like my therapist. My therapist is a white woman, who I feel comfortable openly talking about anything with, including race. Together, we have created a safe space to have these sometimes difficult conversations. Therapy is a tool to learn about yourself. It’s also a tool to grow.  If you are a therapist, do the work, and provide a safe space for black and brown people. Trauma is ingrained in our DNA.  

Finally, please, please, please, take a minute to think, before you call the police on us, in normal everyday circumstances. Just because you think we shouldn’t be somewhere (because we’re looking at the birds) and calling you out because your dog isn’t on a leash (when it should be on a leash) doesn’t mean you have the right to nearly strangle your dog, and threaten to call the police on us. With actions like this, the idea of “Trust All Women'' is extremely difficult for me to make peace with. The Me Too movement was created by black woman, social activist, and community organizer, Tarana Burke. When white women began to claim these words, and her movement as your own, black and brown women stood by you, and supported you despite your history. I want to trust you, but it is difficult when women who look like you have been unequivocally trusted in the past. Women who look like you have called police and lynch mobs on people who look like me. These calls have led to the murders of Emmitt Till, Claude Neal, George Armwood, Mack Charles Parker, Sam Hose, not to mention the complete desecration of Black Wall Street in the Tulsa race massacre. This again is a select sampling of murders caused by one of your “calls.” Give us a reason to trust you.  Stop calling the police on us for existing. 

My letter is concluding, to give your JOG a beginning. Now it’s up to you. Take the first step. You can bleeping do this. Make a plan and become the ally you must be. 

I’m rooting for you, all black people are. For our lives depend on it. 

-G. Brown, Storyteller/CEO @dwntowngbrown 






P.S. Here is again a sampling of resources via social media and online that have been useful to me and may be useful to you. 

Transgender Activists, Advocates, and Organizations of Color

Tourmaline: Artist, Filmmaker, Activist 

Janet Mock: Trailblazing Storyteller, Director, Writer, NY Times Bestseller

Audre Lorde Project: Community organizing center for LGBTSTGNC people of color communities 

Tiq Milan: Writer, Speaker, Advocate, Model 

Hope Giselle: National Organizer, Author, Artist & Inclusion Specialist 

Taliyah Cassadine: Makeup Artist, Founder of Say No 2 Silicone 

Cherno Biko: Award-winning media activist and human rights advocate  

Shea Diamond: Singer, Songwriter, Soul Chanteuse, Survivor 

Elle Hearns: Speaker, Organizer, Strategist, Founder & Executive Director of the Marsha P. Johnson Institute  

Indya Moore: Actress, Writer, Director, Model, Social Activist, and Founder of Beetlefruit Media, Inc. 

Lourdes Ashley Hunter: Executive Director & Global Initiatives Officer of The TransWomen of Color Collective

Laverne Cox: Actress, Writer, Producer, Speaker and Transgender Advocate

J Mase III: Black/trans/queer poet & educator, Co-Editor of The Black Trans Prayer Book 

MJ Rodriguez: Artist, Actress, Singer, Advocate 

Miss Major Griffin-Gracy: Transgender Activist

Angelica Ross: Actor,  Writer, Producer & Founder of @transtechsocial & @missrossinc, 

Monica Roberts: Native Houstonian, unapologetic Black trans person, award winning blogger & 20+ year advocate fighting to make Houston, Texas & the world a better place.

National TransVisibility March


Artists, Advocates, Activists, of Color and Not Who Are Discussing Race From Their Perspectives/ Living Beautiful Black and Brown Lives And Have Helped Me Grow Into A Better Person 

(IG Accounts To Follow and Broaden Your Feed, in no particular order. All of these humans work and life have helped me grow, immensely.) 


And my daring collaborator for NBC, Marsha P., A Me - a musical, 

Brett Macias @burtmakai who was the first white(ish) person to tell me I was a good writer and lyricist. 

P.P.S. Thank you to all of my white friends who have reached out to me to check in. If you’re curious as to where to begin, this would be a great start.