The fine line between Doubt and Delusion

The fine line between Doubt and Delusion
Sunday musings...

Both Doubt and Delusion have walked into my studio.  It's an interesting experience.

What creates it?  How do we move through it?

I have addressed both in some form in prior blogs, but it bears repeating.

There is such difference between being an artist and being an artist making a living as a performer.  There is also a huge difference between the artistic soul and the performer.  Some are both, some are one or the other, and some are neither.  Some perform in the business and simply have a limited amounted of talent and a whole lot of confidence or savvy.  Some continue to struggle to find a better self,  to discover self,  and others bounce, oblivious to others, into the audition space.

As artists,  we have by nature,  a huge capacity for self-doubt.  We are constantly STRIVING for more.  Are we good enough?  Are we studied enough?  What else do we need?  Should we be here? Or somewhere else?  Often,  our self-doubt can carry us past the positive places of self-assurance and action to dark corners that simply constrict us and mute us entirely. 

The delusion happens as a self protection I suppose.  It is a way of hiding in plain sight.  Others see it, but we must protect ourselves from seeing it fully.

The psychology of the artist and the person who wants to be in our business - delusional or not! - is a complex and multi-faceted labyrinth.

We all have doubts.  If you don't,  that's when the delusion kicks in.  We may not expose our doubts to the world,  but when we are alone and honest,  or in a safe place to explore,   those doubts are acknowledged.  I think that's more important than anything.  We can recognize where we are in our development,  and give "Doubt" a name and a place in our lives.  It can be turned into a positive actually:  It allows you to delve more thoroughly into your work and to seek MORE.  It cannot bind you into believing you cannot.  It simply allows you to see further than you are. 

Can I do this?
Am I prepared?
Am I enough?
Am I good enough?

My answer to you is another question: for what?

What do you NEED to "do this"?  What do you NEED to be "prepared"?  What is ENOUGH, what is GOOD ENOUGH for the task at hand?  If you aren't, then you work to be.  If you recognize that.  If you have the people around you that you can trust to help you find that.

These questions and additional questions will allow you to be slightly more objective with yourself.  Always a difficult task as an artist who continues to seek.  Recognize in the seeking,  we do discover more truth.  In acknowledging those truths,  we answer those questions, or simply find new questions!

It is okay to answer YES!!! to those questions if the truth is realized and embodied.

Then, there is the delusion.  Simply put,  it's answering YES! before the question is asked. It is a dismissal of possibility and a psychological ability to create an illusion before any questions have a chance to penetrate.  Many "delusionists" simply never follow through.  They talk the talk but don't walk it.  They create a persona they feel is armour yet, never truly inhabit it.  They continually catch themselves in a web of double-talk and "look over here" to the point that they believe it too.  They want to "TALK" then never actually want to "DO".

If you are an artist,  allow your doubt to simply challenge you to find more of yourself.  Do not let that doubt paralyze you into believing you cannot.  Let it be a jumping off place to discover, explore and never settle. 

If you are delusional,  you won't recognize yourself at all here.  How ironic huh? The delusional have carefully cocooned themselves into a place of no discovery.  It takes carefully peeling layer by layer to move from delusional to actually seeing truth.  Can it be done?  Perhaps.  I don't have that degree!

Fear can do strange things.  Doubt can motivate you to find more and know where you are.  Delusion simply leaves you precisely where you are with no need to go further. 

If you want to sing, to act, to dance - then DO IT!  Keep learning, keep studying, keep seeking.  If you don't think you have to continue to grow - and sometimes learn to breathe in where you are to grow - then try taking off the armour. "What armour" you say? ah.....

Susan Eichhorn Young covers all things voice—strong and sophisticated singing and speaking. 

If you liked this post, please share it or comment with your thoughts below!