But I should…
But I am supposed to…
But what if…
STOP IT! Stop falling for the the pat answers, the passive-aggressive behaviors, the “all or nothing” mentality.
It doesn’t matter where it’s coming from: YOU have a choice to fall for it or not. You have the choice to decide what you do with it.
I know it’s hard. I know sometimes we don’t always realize we have swallowed the wrong pill. Most of us are people pleasers to some extent, and so our desire “to do the right thing” can backfire and cause self-inflicted wounds.
Recognizing our tendency to please is the first step to discovering how we own these tendencies; and, how we can change the behaviors in order to actually pursue, and forge our own path, and OWN IT.
Begin to reframe where you are. What gives you joy? What makes you feel alive? What do you get excited about? How do you DO that each day? In doing, how do you pursue a path that allows you more access? Who do you need to meet? Who do you need to visit? Who do you need in your corner to not blow sunshine up your bum, but to challenge you to keep revealing what you need to see and know?
As you become clearer on what you NEED, that which is not serving you, can leave without issue. Suddenly there is more space, more breathing room, and more expansion.
You can re-create yourself regularly. Daily even. Recognizing and learning how we got to where we are is crucial, but it’s not where we are heading. Learn, acknowledge, and release. Draw from every life experience, every ah-ha moment, every interaction - if it serves the re-framing, the re-discovery, the re-mapping, the re-creating of your path. YOUR path. Not their path. Not the woulda-coulda-shoulda path.
The path is constantly PRESENT. It demands you be ON it. It requires you to CREATE it.
Yes, sometimes, it’s exhausting; sometimes, you wonder or second guess; sometimes it’s hard work and doesn’t feel like joy.
It’s not the joy. It’s not the passion. It’s not the calling that whispers “there is no plan B”.
It’s the ownership of creating that path that allows your passion, your joy, your raison d’être, a place to grow and develop and find its profound and its stillness.
If you give yourself permission to re-create yourself to find the essence of why you do YOU, then no other path exists yet. Only yours. Right where you stand.
That is: YES, and….
Your choice. Your determination. Your turn.
Susan Eichhorn Young covers all things voice—strong and sophisticated singing and speaking.
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