I Brought Matches!

Have you heard any of these at some point?

Your voice is ugly…

Your voice is too small…

Your voice will never be right…

Your voice isn’t beautiful enough…

Your voice is too ordinary…

Your voice is too strange…

Your voice is too unruly…

Nobody knows what to do with you…

Your voice is all wrong…

You are too fat…

You are too skinny…

You aren’t attractive enough…

You aren’t really attractive…

Your voice just doesn’t do it for me…

You are too difficult…

You just don’t have what it takes to have a career…

You’ll never be a singer…

And just an fyi - ALL of these have been said to either singers I know, singers I work with or ME at some point.

All of these have been said by people in the industry.

And I am sure you can add to that list with your own experiences. Sadly, I know you can.

These voices live on in our psyches, even when we know in our consciousness that these words are say more about the people saying them, than about us. Yet, those voices continue to haunt us consciously and unconsciously and we never forget.

I am not saying forget them. I am not saying dismiss them.

What I have learned is that it’s time to meet them head on. Instead of pushing those voices into the dark corners of our minds, why not turn on all the lights? I mean, FLUORESCENT brightness so nobody can scurry off to a dusty corner, and confront those voices.

Don’t dismiss it, or pretend it didn’t happen. Lean into it. Create a ritual around it. If those voices continue to haunt you, make you hesitate, create emotional and mental trauma, no matter if it happened yesterday or 50 years ago, or anything in between, it’s time release its hold on you.

You have that power. Yes, you do.

You have the power to let those voices have power or not. You can choose to release them fully. You have the power to expose them, and burn them down.

So, if you are still giving negative voices permission to live rent-free in your psyche, it’s time to kick them to the curb.

Create a ritual. I am a big believer in rituals and intentional internal work. Let me share with you what I do. You do you, but this helps you discover your own ritual, then please take it and make it yours.

Sit down and write down what these voices continue to say. Get as specific as you can. Do you remember who said it? Do you remember the context in which it was said? Do you remember where you were? How old you were?

Write it down. It can just be what was said and who said it. Be intentional.

Don’t dig and fight for all of it - let the ones who are consciously and easily drawn to your mind and to your pen be the ones you deal with.

Then, safely (!!) light a match or use a lighter and burn that shit. Let that paper burn into ashes.

Watch it burn. Don’t look away. Stay deliberate.

Speak ALOUD. Choose a mantra to repeat as it burns. “I release these voices/this voice into the ashes where it belongs.” “I no longer have room for your negativity and release you into ash.” “You are not important, not needed, not invited, nor welcome in my life, my mind, my spirit.”

You create that mantra. Release and burn those voices and those words.

Language, as Toni Morrison says, is agency. Just as the language spoken to you has seared you, stopped you, conflicted you, hurt you, so must the language you speak to yourself change your direction, your mind, your spirit as you release it fully.

We must be deliberate artists. We must be conscious artists. We must be aware artists. We must be intentional artists.

We must recognize the difference between voices that are criminal spiritually, and voices that are there to encourage, to reveal, to mirror, to create awareness. We must take ownership of our ability to see ourselves honestly and clearly, to know where we are, who we are and how we want to be. We must seek out those who will encourage us to be the best versions of ourselves, not by blowing sunshine up our butts but with constructive thought, and tangible tools.

As we begin to release the voices that do not engage in the positive construction of our spirit, and of our voice and our pursuit of artistic authenticity, we then make room in our beings for the voices that bolster us, collaborate with us, lift us up and build with us.

When that paper has burned and is now ash - dispose of it. Flush it. Compost it. Put it in a jar or zip-lock bag and freeze it. Wash it down the drain.

Begin your ritual.

I brought matches.

We ride at dawn.

with fondness & fierceness,